Child: The cats kept me awake making digging and ripping sounds in my room last night.
Me: No, that was the monsters.
Child: No, this was around 3am.
Me: Yeah, the monsters. You know, the ones under your bed?
Child: NO, the sound was over by the window.
Me: Well they DO come out at night.
Child: [walks away, comes back] I've worked it out. You know the hole the cats made in my net curtain? The cat has made it big enough for her head cone.
Can I have my Mother of the Year Award now?
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